updates on this project:
A few months after my abandonment, I painted the foyer area in my house. It was a dark, dingy, brown. I always hated this color, but the house came with it when we moved in 5 years ago. It even had an “expensive glaze treatment” that I guess I was supposed to be impressed with.
The kitchen walls had a hideous hue as well, though an even darker hunter green, but I hired painters to take care of that job a couple of years ago.
The finished product was a clean, bright white, and since then I’ve been dreaming of the whole house being a clean slate just like that.
But this foyer, it was on me to do. I couldn’t hire a painter, as I was still struggling with finances after the unexpected breakup. I did, however, have several unused Home Depot gift cards that didn’t a prior purpose. So, it only made sense. I hauled my butt to Home Depot and mixed up several gallons of the same white paint color the kitchen had.
Then they sat on the ground unused for about 3 weeks. I had to think about my strategy, okay?
But I did start and didn’t stop until I was finished.
I painted the foyer and conjoining hallway (that passes the living into the kitchen).
It was hard. It took three coats to cover that brown mess. And lots of cutting into the baseboards and crown molding (because I refused to tape off those areas, eff that).
Then I finished.
And it made a world of difference in my home and mind.
I made the hallway wall into a gallery wall full of inspirational messages, photos of the boys, and interesting artwork. Much like I had done in the dining room when I had it freshly painted white. Now, you can’t possibly walk past those spaces and not feel a breath of fresh air and curiosity. It’s amazing how much the level of lightness it adds to the home. It makes me and the boys very happy. And I can keep adding new, fun imagery to the gallery walls as I and the boys discover them.
Taking on a project like this also gave me a platform to exert my nervous and anxious energy, especially when I was feeling especially broken or would not know what I should with my days.
So, I knew that I needed to do more of THAT for my mental and emotional health. For my boy’s mental and emotional health, too.
But, I didn’t really do much after that. And it wasn’t because I didn’t want to, I just didn’t know what to do next. Should I paint another room? Should I toss out every memory of my family of four together? Should I remove all triggers (which is difficult when you’re living in your family home)?
I didn’t know, so I decided to ponder on it until I knew exactly what that answer was. Truthfully, I think it was best that I did wait before making any decisions because I was still fragile and could have made emotional decisions that were later regretted.
But, as of late, I’ve been walking around the house with new thoughts. Thoughts of the items in my home that may be holding onto or representing negative energy. Even the paint on my walls (that I haven’t touched yet) can feel heavy at times. The light fixtures, too. Every room has some heaviness lingering and I’m ready to release it.
No major construction (though maybe one day), just lightening and brightening each space. Purging of items, minimizing, highlighting beautiful things (I want more fresh flowers on a weekly basis, for one), and bringing in the happy. That’s my goal. Each room, one-by-one. A detox of heavy, burdensome, and negative. I’m ready.
This project won’t be one of full of genius organizational tips, though I’m open to your ideas in that arena and probably have a gazillion posts about it on Mom Spark already. I want this, instead, to be focused on the spiritual level of purging than simple logistics. You get it.
I don’t have to sprint through this, either. I’m not pressuring myself to set a deadline. I’m treating this negative purge like a journey that needs mindfulness and presence. It cannot be rushed.
Stay tuned for future posts on my progress and sharing everything I learned about sage smudging, which I can thank my readers for suggesting.
–> sage smudging is my affiliate link
updates on this project: